


Houdini and Baristas

by covetsubjugation



Series: The Infamous Story of 'The Squad' [22]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:50:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7637221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covetsubjugation/pseuds/covetsubjugation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"<b>fight me</b><br/>i know it’s like 100% ironic coming from me<br/>but like you need to sleep</p><p><b>aaron burr</b><br/>Alright I see your point<br/>But consider this:<br/>I don’t<br/>And<br/>I get good grades"</p><p>*<br/>Aaron hasn't slept for three days. Maria has a trying day at work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Houdini and Baristas

**the angelica squad**  
_aaron burr, angel, ayyyymaria, baguette fucker, disney god, dosiaaa, eliza, fight me, get ur own dicc, jamesmadd, peggy_

 **angel  
** im so tired of dating apps

 **eliza  
** same

 **jamesmadd  
** im just tired

 **peggy  
** rt

 **angel**  
today someone asked me  
“so what brings you online”  
and i just don’t care anymore  
i literally replied  
“a lack of self respect”

 **peggy  
** well you’re not wrong

 **angel  
** lol ikr

 **aaron burr  
** @ **jamesmadd** Same  
I haven’t slept for the last three days

 **dosiaaa**  
i’ve been there for all three days  
i’m literally so desperate for him to sleep

 **ayyyymaria  
** you two are so cute

 **dosiaaa**  
oh no im not concerned for his health  
im concerned for my sanity  
HE  
IS  
SO  
PISSY

 **fight me  
** @ **dosiaaa** is he doing the thing where he refuses to let you sleep

 **dosiaaa**  
yES  
“IF I CAN’T SLEEP NO ONE CAN”

 **fight me  
** yeah he does that to me too

 **baguette fucker  
** but like you barely sleep what’s the problem

 **fight me**  
for some reason  
the nights where aaron doesn’t sleep  
corresponds to the nights i sleep

 **aaron burr  
** Consider it my due payment

 **fight me  
** @ **aaron burr** for????

 **aaron burr  
** @ **fight me** For being a pain in my ass

 **fight me  
** @ **dosiaaa** you’re right he’s mean just skip town

 **dosiaaa  
** @ **fight me** i wish  
his eye is twitching

 **fight me  
** @ **dosiaaa** oh when he does that at work i just put a bottle of sleeping pills on the table and walk away

 **dosiaaa  
** @ **fight me** for future reference  
if you put warm milk near him  
he will drink it and sleep  
it’s healthier

 **get ur own dicc**  
????  
you give burr milk????  
burr are you a child????

 **dosiaaa**  
when he hasn’t slept for three days  
yes

 **fight me  
** rekted

 **disney god  
** @ **fight me** alex pls don’t act like we didn’t spend the last few days holding you down in bed

 **fight me  
** (;

 **get ur own dicc**  
ha no it wasn’t that fun  
it’s like you don’t understand r &r

 **eliza  
** what made you think alex understood r&r

 **get ur own dicc  
** tru

*

 **aaron burr**  
I’m not saying that I’m losing ym mind  
but I’m losing my mind

 **disney god  
** it is 3am??

 **aaron burr  
** yes but i have to submit my final paper next week

 **disney god  
** see this is why you don’t take an accelerated course

 **fight me  
** excuse me

 **disney god**  
okay first off  
i stand by what i said  
second of all  
wHY ARE YOU AWAKE  
WE WENT TO BED 4 HOURS AGO

 **fight me**  
i was asleep  
but then you started texting  
and the glow woke me up

 **disney god**  
oh  
sorry

 **fight me  
** it’s okay ily

 **disney god  
** ily2

 **aaron burr**  
How is it 3am  
How is it I still have work to do????

 **fight me  
** we were having a Moment™?

 **aaron burr  
** Well you’re no longer having it are you

 **fight me**  
i think i like you better when you get enough sleep  
and i know it’s like 100% ironic coming from me  
but like you need to sleep

 **aaron burr**  
Alright I see your point  
But consider this:  
I don’t  
And  
I get good grades

 **fight me  
** your capitalisation of words make no sense

 **aaron burr  
** Does life make sense?

 **fight me  
** Goodbye Aaron

*

 **dosiaaa**  
i just woke up  
burr is in bed  
im pretty sure he only went to bed at like 5am tho

 **baguette fucker**  
seeing as he was talking to my boyfriends at 3am  
it is not an unreasonable assumption  
speaking of my boyfriends i love them

 **peggy**  
btw laf  
your pronouns are they/them right?

 **baguette fucker  
** he/they

 **peggy**  
aite i gotchu  
also it’s like pretty early why are you awake

 **baguette fucker**  
john snores too loudly  
but also class  
class sucks tbh

 **fight me**  
i am Alive  
well  
barely  
i am alive  
that’s a bit more accurate

 **baguette fucker  
** why can’t you just sleep more

 **fight me**  
what is sleep  
also like now that im awake  
you can kiss me

 **baguette fucker  
** okay!!

*

 **ayyyymaria  
** alex has arrived at the store to study

 **get ur own dicc  
** is burr there

 **ayyyymaria  
** sadly not yet

 **get ur own dicc  
** sadly???

 **dosiaaa**  
alex likes to disturb aaron when he is studying  
but like aaron is still sleeping so

 **disney god**  
man down  
he missed his classes didn’t he

 **dosiaaa  
** yup but like at least he’s sleeping

 **ayyyymaria**  
#concern  
whoop customers are here

 **angel**  
i hate my groupmates  
i want to kill them

 **get ur own dicc**  
Do  
kill them

 **eliza  
** one of us is probably rich enough to bail you out

 **fight me  
** john probs

 **get ur own dicc  
** please don’t drag me into this

 **angel**  
you literally advocated murder  
you dragged yourself into this

 **get ur own dicc  
** shit u right

 **angel  
** when am i not

 **ayyyymaria  
** [strums ukulele] i hate customers

 **eliza  
** what happened

 **ayyyymaria**  
this bitch just came in  
“hi can i get an iced coffee”  
“yeah sure?”  
“i want the ice cubes to stay at the bottom of the drink”

 **angel  
** don’t ice cubes float

 **ayyyymaria**  
yE  
“mam that defies the laws of physics i can’t do that????”  
“your coworker did it last time!!!”  
i’M SORRY PLEASE DIRECT ME TO THE FUCKING HOUDINI WHO MADE YOUR DRINK  
i had to pull out the manager to explain physics to her  
what a waste of time

 **fight me**  
that doesn’t even make sense  
and it won’t be very efficient  
considering that the ‘coldness’ would sink

 **ayyyymaria**  
okay but im more concerned with our resident genius and the houdini barista over here  
my manager just rolled her eyes

 **dosiaaa  
** same tbh

 **ayyyymaria  
** she has finally given up and ordered

 **eliza  
** what are you going to write on her cup

 **ayyyymaria**  
well her name is allison  
but ngl i am tempted to write “houdini’s assistant”

 **eliza  
** please do

 **ayyyymaria**  
nah im not that cruel  
im not going to make her cry

 **aaron burr  
** jnpejuchodwo,ijfd

 **baguette fucker  
** bless you

 **aaron burr  
** I DIDN’T GO FOR CLASS

 **disney god  
** i mean like it’s 3pm so

 **aaron burr**  
I can’t believe this  
I didn’t go for class

 **angel**  
it’s fine burr  
just go self study or whatever it is you do

 **aaron burr**  
I need coffee  
At least Maria’s working  
See you in a while

 **ayyyymaria**  
yeah see you ay-ay-ron

*

 **aaron burr  
** Why did nobody tell me Alex was here

 **baguette fucker  
** technically you didn’t ask

 **aaron burr  
** I am wearing a lovely shade of I slept like shit so don’t piss me off with your nonsense

 **eliza  
** the only good part of burr not sleeping is that his sense of humour increases greatly

 **ayyyymaria  
** i wrote ay-ay-ron on his cup

 **get ur own dicc  
** ayyyy ayyyymaria

 **ayyyymaria  
** are you just smirking at your phone

 **get ur own dicc  
** ye

 **disney god  
** smh

 **get ur own dicc**  
you’re still dating me  
so

 **ayyyymaria**  
guys you should know it is v crowded rn so aaron has to sit with alex  
aaron is very determinedly Not Looking at alex  
alex is just smirking away

 **dosiaaa**  
please tell me if something funny happens  
will do

*

 **ayyyymaria**  
tHIS GUY JUST CAME UP TO AARON AND HIT ON HIM  
AARON IS BRIGHT RED  
ALEX IS JUST CHOKING AWAY ON HIS COFFEE

 **angel  
** please take lots of photos

 **ayyyymaria**  
OKAY  
SO THE GUY IS LIKE “I REALLY LIKE YOUR PANTS-  
-I THINK IT WILL LOOK BETTER ON MY FLOOR”

 **fight me  
** THIS SITUATION FEELS EERILY FAMILIAR

 **dosiaaa  
** just don’t kiss my boyfriend

 **fight me  
** will do

 **ayyyymaria**  
OKAY SO AARON IS JUST TRYING TO BE LIKE  
“I’M ALREADY SEEING SOMEONE”  
BUT THE GUY LOOKS ALEX UP AND DOWN AND IS LIKE  
“YOU CAN DO BETTER”

 **get ur own dicc  
** EXCUSE ME

 **disney god  
** WHAT DID YOU SAY

 **baguette fucker**  
OUR BOYFRIEND IS GREAT  
HOW DARE

 **fight me  
** i know 10 different ways to kill him and not leave a trace dw

 **ayyyymaria  
** please don’t get any blood on the floor

 **disney god**  
okay so im not saying im currently en route to the coffee shop with john and laf  
but im currently en route to the coffee shop with john and laf

_jamesmadd changed the group name to “alex defence squad”_

**angel**  
i would object  
but like i still have lingering feelings of pride for alex  
so imma let it slide

 **ayyyymaria**  
this is gonna be so cute  
but the guy might leave soon  
aaron is doing his patented ice queen thing

 **aaron burr  
** I don’t have an ice queen thing

 **ayyyymaria  
** then what would you call what you’re doing now

 **aaron burr  
** Ignoring him

 **ayyyymaria  
** so that’s your ice queen thing

 **aaron burr  
** Alternatively called being faithful to my girlfriend

 **dosiaaa  
** aww

 **disney god  
** wE ARE HERE TO DEFEND OUR BOYFRIEND’S HONOUR

 **ayyyymaria**  
and the line lightened up yessssss  
snapchat here i come  
aww the three of them took turns kissing alex in front of aaron’s admirer  
oh and john is now sitting on alex’s lap  
the guy looks very uncomfortable

 **baguette fucker  
** good

 **ayyyymaria**  
laf is doing their patented ‘cooler than you’ thing  
you know hipcock, fashionable glasses, the whole shebang

 **eliza**  
aww i saw the snapchat this is so cute  
the fact that john knocked over the drink while sitting in alex's lap is less cute tho

 **aaron burr  
** I am never sitting with Alex ever again

*

 **The Poly Squad**  
_baguette fucker, disney god, fight me, get ur own dicc_

 **fight me  
** we should go on a date

 **disney god  
** ye ye

 **baguette fucker  
** oui

 **get ur own dicc  
** let’s go!!!

*

 **Theodosia  
** _online_

theo mon ami  
if i sent you a nude  
would you look over it and evaluate it for me

is the nude meant for your boyfriends

yeah of course

sure why not

**Author's Note:**

> Tag yourself, I am sleepless Aaron. (This isn't a joke I am so sleep deprived)
> 
> Sorry I missed Friday, I am super busy right now. I have a performance on Friday and four projects due next week so I'm not going to be posting until next Sunday (7 Aug). If 7 August rolls around and I don't update, please come yell at me on [tumblr](http://bisexualexhamilton.tumblr.com).
> 
> For future updates about fanfic statuses, come find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/saltyhart/) or on my [writing tumblr](http://covetsubjugation.tumblr.com).
> 
> Jokes for today came from [here](http://flowerofthebarricade.tumblr.com/post/146686291654), [here](http://sir-mycroft.tumblr.com/post/143570669311/perfuckedtion-today-im-wearing-a-lovely-shade), and [here](http://sleepysweetie.tumblr.com/post/146686304098/oomshi-class-is-in-session).
> 
> Right, I sustain myself off kudos and comments so please leave those. It's good for my health. Anyway, night!


End file.
